I apologize for being absent for so long, but once again the chaos of life has caught me under her wing. A few weeks ago (when I disappeared from the Internet) I had a very big, exciting week—I started two jobs and the life of an adult working 6 (sometimes 7) days a week has been my existence ever since.
I am currently working at a North Fork winery in their tasting room as well as completing an internship at a publishing house in Manhattan. Between the two, plus the commute, my free time is rather sparse these days, but such is the life of a struggling college grad/wannabe adult, right?
Now this is going to be a short one, because my to-do list seems to be ever-growing and I need to check at least one item off it tonight, but in these past few weeks there are a few things I have learned about what it really means to be an adult that I wanted to share:
- Tired has a whole new meaning. I am ALWAY tired, and not necessarily in a bad way, it is just one of those things that is always there, constantly itching at my eyeballs. Everyone said take naps in college because that is the last time you will have the time, and man it is true! I was always an 8-hour a night kind of girl and now I consider myself content with 6.
- Money is ALWAYS on the brain. I understood coming into this whole “adult” thing that being broke was part of the job description, and I was ready for that. What I didn’t anticipate though, was just how often I would find my mind wandering back to my budget and bank balance in the middle of the day. Gone are the days of staring out the window in class, now as I am looking at my computer screen at work my weekly budget is running through the back of my mind.
- Alcohol has new importance. I’ve never been one who really understood all the hype over 5 o’clock, but I now understand why so many songs have been written about that lovely time of day. Not only is it the hour to push back from your desk and head home (or at least start considering when you can go home) it is the earliest hour of the day Monday—Friday when having a cocktail in hand is not only accepted but practically expected. I have a whole new appreciation for the after work beverage.
- Living for the weekend. When you are working a full-time job there are only so many hours Monday—Friday outside of work, leaving Saturday and Sunday for your entertaining/social/fun/errand-runnning days. Now that we do not live with all of our friends within walking distance, social engagements and outings must be planned and coordinated in advance. Gone are the days of spontaneous parties and get-togethers.
- I am one of them. At first it was unsettling, the newfound respect strangers paid me on my way to and from work, but it is like I have entered an exclusive club of strangers and we are all in on a secret that the rest of the world isn’t privy to. Now maybe this isn’t the case for every aspiring adult out there, but I—being a commuter—have a unique going-to-work experience in which 60-year-old men treat me as their equal, as if I am contributing as much to the work force as they are. Now I like to believe that I am an essential component of any workplace, but in my current role as intern I am not that delusional. But when you are in business/business casual attire, no one questions your level of importance.
Paste a Video URL
While absent-mindedly occupying myself on Pintrest with Pandora playing in the background I came across the song: Oh! by Eric Hutchinson, and it sort of smacked me across the face and then reverberated around for a while in my skull.
The part that really caught my attention was the chorus: “And I’m never sure what I’m living for but it’s always on my mind. Someone comes along always proves me wrong. Think I’m gonna be fine.”
How fantastic is that, and how true? Who can really with any certainty (particularly in their 20s) say what they are living for? What are we doing, where are we going? It changes everyday don’t you think? I am a big fan of the 6-month, 5-year, 10-year plan mentality but I also recognize that we need a certain level of spontaneity and uncertainty in our lives. We need to let ourselves be ridiculous and enjoy making the poor life choices in order to give ourselves the pleasure of then putting our lives back together.
I was just yesterday talking to a friend who said he was thinking of leaving his job to move out to LA. He told me, “I feel as though I’m looking for an excuse to drop everything here and make the rash decision to move.” That is a mentality that I can 100% relate to. I am making the move to Chicago this summer, and that was a decision decided on a whim (to be honest most of my major life-changing decisions are). My friend was in need of a roommate and I was in need of some new surroundings. I know myself well enough to know that come summertime I will be looking for ‘an excuse to drop everything’ and sometimes you have to indulge yourself a little and allow those rash decisions, the ones that you know aren’t the safe choice, but generally are the smartest. I am moving to a city that I have never set foot in with no job prospect at the moment and I am beyond excited about it. Money is going to be tight and I know there are going to be more than a few difficulties but I also know that I like a good challenge and if I know nothing else one thing I can say with absolute certainty is, I’m gonna be fine.
I have always had an affinity for lists and as part of my write-more-regularly New Years Resolution I thought I would post a weekly list, I am aiming for every Monday but we will see how it goes. These are going to be random mostly I think, but I think it will be fun. If you have list topic suggestions feel free to let me know in the comments!
- Travel More! I am currently working on a European adventure and hopefully that will work out for this Spring!
- Move Out! I currently live in my parents ski house and while I love the no rent situation I am 21 years old and need to get my own place. I am planning to move to Chicago this summer so that should solve that problem.
- Be Decisive! I am a rather opinionated person, which I am sure you have gathered from my previous posts but I have a tendency to not make social decisions and let someone else take charge. I want that to change. I have an opinion and I want to share it!
- Get a Grown-Up Job! This is the big one hanging over every recent graduates head and I am feeling good about it at the moment. I don’t mind being a professional coffee maker for the summer but come September it would be really nice to have a real job with a real paycheck and a real way to pay my bills.
- Exercise! This one is the most unrealistic of the bunch but you need at least one difficult goal right? Now I am not talking running or anything ridiculous like that! But some nice yoga or stretching or tennis or anything really would be a nice change from my current regiment of sitting at my computer or on the couch. Yes I know I ski regularly but that only works for me until March/April.
- Organize my Recipes! I have been meaning to put them together into a recipe book for years and 2013 is going to be the year for the kitchen! I am going to get my act together and start cooking more exciting meals and doing it more often. At the moment I make way too many English muffin pizza bagels than can be good. Maybe I’ll even start sharing some of the recipes I try out, only the good ones of course!
- And for my final goal, I want to Publish More! I have done a few freelance jobs, and written a few published pieces that are floating around the inter-webs, but not nearly enough for someone looking to enter the world of writing. So 2013 is going to be the year that I send in some of my fiction pieces and get my butt in gear in terms of writing in general. No more complacency it’s time to get serious!
So that is my list for the week and please if you have list suggestions I am serious I would love to hear them. Your suggestions might just be the push I need to really get Goal Number Seven to happen!
I have spent the last week plus in blissful denial of reality, as I worked my way through the 140 something episodes that make up the 6 seasons of Dawson’s Creek. Now why did I become a couch potato you might ask? First and foremost I needed a good cry as all girls do now and then and there is no quicker way to make this particular girl cry than to turn on a will-they-won’t-they love story (and in this case, a particularly relatable one)! But what I didn’t know when setting out on this little Netflix adventure was how much this one 90s melodrama from my childhood would make me think, about life, about love, about what the friendships I have made over the years mean, and more importantly about the decisions that I have made. And while I must admit that while I am embarrassed to say that this months big epiphany was inspired by a 90s teen soap, this is true and there is no point in denying it now.
While I would like to believe that I am smarter in affairs of love and life than Ms. Joey Potter, having now watched every minute of every episode I can’t say that I am. I stumble and I blunder and I have made one or two less than informed decision in my life, but I can’t help but know that regardless of my ill-informed decisions when it comes to love, there is hope and one day I will get it right, but until then I am more than content to continue down this confusing road that is being a 21-year-old girl. So I will enjoy the ride, welcoming unexpected turns, hoping for a good plot twists, and knowing that whatever life has in store for me the best surprises are yet to come!
This post is sappy and sentimental I know, but when living in a ski town that currently offers very limited skiing on top of my big empty house, I find myself doing a dangerous amount of thinking and I must say internet goers, given the number of times I have written this post in my head while working my way through the many seasons, you got off lucky, this is a relatively short ramble. But never fear, there is much more interesting stuff to come–including, but not limited to: recipes for some of my wonderfully cheap dinners for one, and possibly even a good story or two from this weekends adventure to Boston for a certain best friends 21st birthday, so until then!